You should have lip synced this and added more than just close ups with funny faces. It's less like an animated short and more like a slideshow or PowerPoint presentation.

Hey man, I can see you're just starting out as an artist, and probably kind of young. Newgrounds can be a rough place so for your sake, I really suggest you do some studying on how to draw before just posting any of your sketches here. I'm not saying your drawing is bad, I'm just saying that I can tell you're inexperienced.

I would HIGHLY recommend reading the books found on the Web site below. These books come from master illustrator Andrew Loomis and I wish someone would have shown them to me when I was younger.

http://alexhays.com/loomis/

Anyway, I hope you don't blow that link off, I really think with some determination and studying, you could be good one day.